1. You have an uncle who tells you his contact number is chaar so be
ogan syt ekaavan – 4025951
2. Every autowala, taxiwala, grocerywala is our kaka.
3. We never go to office, we go to HOFFIS!
4. The first rule of money – never use your own!
5. “Su navi juni” is our version of wassup?
6. Be it seven in the morning or 1 am, gaathiyas are always welcome.
7. We are all a fan of Dakshaben aka Ketaki Dave’s “Ararararara….”
8. We keep an “ELARAM” to wake up in the morning.
9. No party is over without a round of GARBA.
10. We all love golas, but ice creams have a special place in our
hearts (and in our fridges as well).
11. We call all types of noodles “Meggi”!!!
12. When someone asks about a person, we say GENTLEMAN MANAS 6! ( Chay )
13. “Shaanti rakhi ne loi peeyo!” is our best possible slang.
14. We don’t know any place in the world called Delhi, apne to bas
DILLI aj javanu!
15. We have a PhD in bargaining by birth..
16. We can speak any language of the world in Gujarati!
17. We don’t have feelings, we have FILLINGS!!!
18. Jai Shri Krishan = Hello and Aavjo = Good bye
19. Generally our conversations begin with kem 6, maja ma ne, and end
with, koi saaru investment batavo ne…
20. We shout our guts out on international calls, thinking they can
hear us better that way.
21. A gujju would have business on his mind from the time he turns 18
- bahu badha paisa kamavana 6..( chay ).
22. Swimming is not for us – we call it chhabchhabiya.
23. For us electricity never goes – only light does!!!!
24. We don’t call people, we COAL them.
25. Next time someone irritates you, you say TEL PEEVA JA.
26. Sensex interests us more than anything else.
27. Chhas is our beer!
28. We are everywhere, all over the globe – deal with it…
29. We go to movie HOLE and take outside SNAKES for refreshments.
30. Ideal gujju mom’s phone book’s last page has – agarwal modiwado,
ajanta hotel (sunday saat vagya laginej order le 6e), gupta chikki,
jyotsanaben nu tiffin, gas book maate, kaaki ni kaamvaari, patel
gadlawado, madhuben – mahila mandal, maro mobile number…
31. Towel = tooval
32. Every gujju will introduce their spouse as aa mara mr 6, ne aa mari mrs 6…
33. Mount Abu is Switzerland.
34. Mihir Virani is our Charlie Sheen.
35. Exam aave 6, beta notes JEROX karavanu bhoolto nai…
36. If a gujju starts coffee with Karan, he would name it as “Chhas
with Chhagan”.
37. Boomer is not chewing gum, it is chiggum.
38. A true gujju looks forward to eat thai, mexican, italian, chinese
and undhiyu at the cousin’s wedding…
39. If u r a true gujju then your phone will have at least ten
contacts ending in the word BHAI.
40. If u don’t like jalebi-fafda, u r not a true Gujju.
41. Being Punjabi means more chapati, less rice; being Mallu means
less chapati, more rice. Being Gujju – just eat more yaar, shu farak pade 6.
42. Gujjus believe Narendra Modi is the solution for everything – from
hair style to nation’s progress.
43. Vile Parle and New Jersey feels like home – Apduj 6…
44. We will spend 1000 rupees for a 10 rupees free gifts, free ma
male, etle maja aavi jai
45. We eat home made theplas with chhundo and athanu in business class flight.
46. We can do Garba on any song in the world.
47. Falguni Pathak is Britney Spears for us
48. After having chaat, bhelpuri, sevpuri, we make sure we ask for
extra puri, and then discount.
49. Order soup 1/2, u get more quantity – be smart.
50. If its beg, edible and free, go on dude, eat it…
51. Bombay+Gujarat+London+ America = whole world. Nothing else exists for us
52. Everyone is invited to a Gujju home for lunch, and fed like u have
come from the groom’s side.
53. If all of a sudden u hear a dhoom machale ringtone or a loud
scream or a loud chit chat amongst a group, immediately assume that
you are amidst Gujjus.
54. Hindi humko jara bi nahi faata hai.
55. 15 or 50, your parents will always refer to u as their baby or babo.
56. Gujjus don’t know what chocolate is, they only know CATBURY.
57. If u dnt watch tarak mehta ka oolta chashmah u r nt a gujju yaar.
58. Ultimate Gujju gift – a ‘cover’ (envelope) with 500+1 in it.
59. We take constitution very seriously, everybody is called bhai and ben.
61. If u do not go for Navratri, u dnt exist.
62. Mango is not our national fruit only kesar n haphus is.
63. Don’t be disheartened if u don’t make it to a top B-school, if u
are a Gujju, then business is in your blood.
64. We all own Reliance… (No further comments or xplanations needed!)
65. U find something good n say “BAHU FINE 6!”
66. ‘Pope’ Music mast hoy 6.
67. We can talk about share markets, anywhere, anytime, no problem.
68. U expect a discount at the Dollar Store if u r a Gujju.
69. U consider spongebob as dhokla, if u r a Gujju.
70. Dandiya is our Prom.
71. Packing according to a 5 night 6 day holiday when going for a one
day picnic.
72. Time spent at a party – Dancing (10 minutes), Chitchat (10
minutes), Dinner (100 minutes).
73. ‘Sanedo’ is our Dance Anthem, if you are not on the dance floor
when it plays, you are not a Gujju.

Invictus
-William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

I wanna run away
never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth
instead of wondering why
I wanna know the answers
no more lies
I wanna shut the door
and open up my mind…

Unlike most filmmakers, I never dreamt of it as kid.
I desired to communicate, via writing, painting, photography.
Later came film-making, A skillfully liberated medium.
I want to make films… that mirror reality … that touch lives … that make a difference.
… that entertain and elevate one to humanity!

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

How can the weather be hot as hell one day an cold as hell another?

When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?

Now I know why I flunked my English. It’s not my fault; the silly language doesn’t quite know whether it’s coming or going.

Come to me
the moon is closer than your eyes
I can barley see through the cracks
light shines out my scars
Sirens scream in vain
I have already died
a million times inside
I surrender
Shoot me down
No bullet could stop me now
My love does not depend on anyone or anything
It will never die.
I’m ticking like a time bomb
soon to blow away
I am not you
you are not me
but we can still play
I could say I love you if only for a day
My mind sunk this ship I am drowning in
I surrender
Shoot me down
No bullet could stop me now
My love does not depend on anyone or anything
It will never die.

2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
settle down in ICELAND at some barren mountain top and start a family.

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
umm. I am not saying THAT out loud

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
A Lavish World Tour

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
I love my best friends. but it wouldn’t be ‘fall in love’ in a romantic sort of way though.

6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?
Most blessed is to be loved by someone you love.

7. How long would you wait for someone you loved?
Not long. Blessed with a great power of practicality to move on in life when required.

8. If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?
nothing. be happy for that person and move on.

9. If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?
Terrorism free world.

10. What takes you down the fastest?
politeness with a genuine smile.

11. Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?
umm. in the mirror. [ lol. i know that was tacky! ]

12. What’s your fear?
Water. Almost overcame it though.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
none tagged me, i took it up.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
hmm. Married and poor.

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
These days.. Sparrow kisses.

16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?
The one I love more.

17. Would you give all in a relationship?
Yes. I always go all the way.

18. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?
yes. If he has a good and logical explanation why he did what he did.

19. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
in a relationship. two is a company. such a nice company most times.

20. List of 6 people to tag:
none really. take it up if u like

Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.
And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.
And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.
“Tom orrow” I say! “I will call on Jim
Just to show that I’m thinking of him.”
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.
Around the corner, yet miles away,
“Here’s a telegram sir,” “Jim died today.”
And that’s what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.
Remember to always say what you mean.
If you love someone, tell them.
Don’t be afraid to express yourself.
Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you.
Because when you decide that it is the right time it might
be too late.
Seize the day. Never have regrets.
And most importantly, stay close to your friends
and family, for they have helped
make you the person that you are today.

I am on my way to get back my old lost friends. And this couldn’t have been more appropriate time to receive this forwarded email.

A book that made you cry: Childhood’s end – Arthur clerke

A book that scared you: The Fly

A book that disgusted you: Stephen King , most of his work

A book you loved in elementary school: The Treasure Island

A book you loved in middle school or junior high school: 20000 leagues under the sea – Jules Verne

A book you loved in high school: Sherlock Holmes – Arthur conan doyle.

A book you loved in college: Many actually. sci-fi by arthur clerke, isaac asimov. Emotional ones by Paulo Coelho, Philosophical ones by Ayn Rand

A book that challenged your identity: Veronica Decides to Die – Paulo Coelho. Made me realise so many things I would not be able to think otherwise.

A series that you love: Garfield. Hagar The horrible. And now Calvin and Hobbes.

Your favorite horror book: None I guess.

Your favorite science fiction book: Hitchhiker’s guide to galaxy – Douglas Adams

Your favorite fantasy: Artemis Fowl – Eion Colfer

Your favorite mystery: all Sherlock Holmes.

Your favorite biography: Experiments with Truth – Mahatma Gandhi.

Your favorite “coming of age” book: Atlas Shrugged. The one that evolved me as a person.

Your favorite classic: Shakespere. too cliched, isn’t it?

Your favorite romance book: Have never read mills and boons. But I used to write some, which so far has been my favorite.