So if I were a cat, this is what I would say to the husband:
- Just because we are in the same room, it doesn’t mean we have to talk. I know all that talk about nurturing, but silence is good enough.
- Sometimes I might lick you, or give you a pedicure, even if you don’t ask for it. It’s how I show my love, even though I am not expected to. But don’t expect it at the same time, every day. That’s what dogs do.
- We have just signed up to be together for life. Can we cut through the crap of ‘I love you’ and “You are the most important person in my life’ and ‘I don’t think I can live without you.’ May be you can do it, but I can’t. I am a cat.
- It’s fine, we are husband-wife, but each one of us is still entitled to the best spot in the bed. The only thing that matters is, who gets there first.
- We are so over the phase of being polite and entertaining random people and doing things to please others. Don’t go there.
- Sometimes, I may want to cuddle with you. At other times, I may not feel like showing up when you walk in that door. It should be cool either way.
- I may do things that are out of character, like fetch a ball, or serve you your newspaper in bed, but don’t get used to it.
- When you leave town, I get to be me. I love it. So don’t expect me to say that I miss you. That’s what lovers do. We are married.
- Two people living together is enough noise. Let’s not over-communicate.
- And please, no surprises. I hate it.
[ picked this up from Chickwit's blog. totally agree to what she said. 
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